Nonfiction

I Am An Island

I Am An Island

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  • Create Date：2021-04-28 09:50:57
  • Update Date：2025-09-06
  • Status：finish
  • Author：Tamsin Calidas
  • ISBN：178416478X
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Summary

When Tamsin Calidas first arrives on a remote island in the Scottish Hebrides， it feels like coming home。 Disenchanted by London， she and her husband left the city and high-flying careers to move the 500 miles north， despite having absolutely no experience of crofting， or of island life。 It was idyllic， for a while。 But as the months wear on， the children she'd longed for fail to materialise， and her marriage breaks down， Tamsin finds herself in ever-increasing isolation。

Injured， ill， without money or friend she is pared right back， stripped to becoming simply a raw element of the often harsh landscape。 But with that immersion in her surroundings comes the possibility of rebirth and renewal。 Tamsin begins the slow journey back from the brink。

Startling， raw and extremely moving， I Am An Island is a story about the incredible ability of the natural world to provide when everything else has fallen away - a stunning book about solitude， friendship， resilience and self-discovery。

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Reviews

Collector_no_1 ，

81/100This book is sad。 Its Very VERY SAD！loads of trigger warnings should come with the book。Think of a sad book and then douse it in a lake of misery。I kid you not， every page， very paragraph and every sentence is drenched in so much sorrow and loneliness。I had to put this book down several times because the reading experience was overwhelming for me。I realised I was breathing loudly trying to suck in as much air as I could while reading some triggering bits of the book，，，I could feel the wall 81/100This book is sad。 Its Very VERY SAD！loads of trigger warnings should come with the book。Think of a sad book and then douse it in a lake of misery。I kid you not， every page， very paragraph and every sentence is drenched in so much sorrow and loneliness。I had to put this book down several times because the reading experience was overwhelming for me。I realised I was breathing loudly trying to suck in as much air as I could while reading some triggering bits of the book，，，I could feel the walls of my room pressing in。。。 I actually had to go to my local park（open ground） to read a very triggering chapter in the book。That is how depressing this book was。And the reason why the loneliness and sorrow of the book is almost of contagion level is because of the vivid and illustrious writing。 She is able to make such heart-wrenching analogies and comparisons between nature and human conditions。。Here is an example:**** this bit might be mildly spoilery**********There is this one bit where she is picking broad beans in the garden， she tears it open along its string thread， and what stares backs at her reminds her of her contrasting inability to make life（have kids）。 ******** This is just one example The book has too many to count。And though I initially wanted to write this book off as a one-sided account， her writing spoke volumes of hurt， abuse and disappointments to me。。 and Maybe she is a brilliant writer（or a superb liar？？ who knows？）？？ but none of it rang false to me。。。 they all seemed to come from a deep reservoir of hurt and pain and trauma。 And as a reader I found myself hurting too。。。 that is the biggest compliment I can give her writing。Its a very sad book。。。Is there hope in this？I guess the fact that her book is now a Sunday times Bestseller is a hopeful ending。I picked my copy up at Tesco's because they were brandishing it as their non-fiction pick of the month。 During this long lockdown（most of 2020 and early 2021）， Tescos has become more than a grocery store， it has become a BOOK store for me。 。。。more

Nathalie Maciesza ，

I like the premise of these memoirs: Londoner swaps yuppie lifestyle to live the croft life。 But then there’s a lot of long-winded philosophizing combined with a seemingly endless string of horrible misfortunes。 Calidas experiences harassment， isolation， betrayal， devastating losses and brutal accidents。 This woman really doesn’t get a break。 For me， reading this book felt like watching that one scene in a horror film when one of the characters descends into the basement — it made me want to scr I like the premise of these memoirs: Londoner swaps yuppie lifestyle to live the croft life。 But then there’s a lot of long-winded philosophizing combined with a seemingly endless string of horrible misfortunes。 Calidas experiences harassment， isolation， betrayal， devastating losses and brutal accidents。 This woman really doesn’t get a break。 For me， reading this book felt like watching that one scene in a horror film when one of the characters descends into the basement — it made me want to scream， ‘GET OUT OF THERE’。 On the bright side， I did like the chapters where she teaches herself all kinds of new skills like a boss。 。。。more

Angela Mcowan ，

I didn’t enjoy this book as much as I’d hoped to; the newspaper review I had read gave the impression that this was a far more uplifting read than I found it to be。 At times the writing about our connection with nature was poetic， but overall it was a relentlessly hard read， and this overshadowed any meaningful insights into the human condition。 Having just finished it， I’m now feeling pretty drained。

☆Ruth☆ ，

The book is undoubtedly well- written but I found it both depressing and claustrophobic。 The author seems to have been willing to allow herself to be a constant victim。 Most of the time I wanted to give her a good shake and tell her to pull herself together and make some sensible decisions！

Shirley Williams ，

I liked the story and Tamsin but a bit too much in parts。

Elaine Ground ，

Incredible memoir。I have read a，lot of nature memoirs but this one will stay with me for the vivid retelling and the startling imagery。 It takes the reader on a journey that at times is raw and painful and at others is uplifting and beautiful。 Highly recommended。

Fatou ，

Very moving， raw， at times almost too painful to read。 I loved it。

Rosalyn ，

Your heart breaks for Tamsin on every page of this beautiful book。。。she has to endure so much （too much）， with more and more endurance piled on top at every turn。 It feels relentless and the parts that resonated with experiences in my own life hurt especially。 I’ll admit that there was a part of me who didn’t understand why she stayed， why she wasn’t the one who upped and left， but I like to believe that she found true redemption and peace by staying。

Katherine ，

I started off feeling positive about this book but by the end found it thoroughly depressing and repetitive。 Even the descriptions of the natural world seemed centred around the author and not the island and nature itself。 It has left me feeling low - definitely not a lockdown book。

Gert De Bie ，

Wat een mokerslag。 De ene vijf sterren is de andere niet。 Ik zou een ster kunnen laten vallen vanwege het ongemak dat me de hele tijd vergezelde tijdens het lezen。 Een sterretje minder omdat de auteur me een voyeuristisch gevoel gaf。 Mijn god， wil ik dit eigenlijk allemaal wel weten， was een gedachte die nooit veraf was。Maar de intensiteit van het verhaal， de leeservaring die me bij de keel greep， de heftige emoties die de revue passeerden， de bespiegelingen die de auteur maakt en de rotsvaste o Wat een mokerslag。 De ene vijf sterren is de andere niet。 Ik zou een ster kunnen laten vallen vanwege het ongemak dat me de hele tijd vergezelde tijdens het lezen。 Een sterretje minder omdat de auteur me een voyeuristisch gevoel gaf。 Mijn god， wil ik dit eigenlijk allemaal wel weten， was een gedachte die nooit veraf was。Maar de intensiteit van het verhaal， de leeservaring die me bij de keel greep， de heftige emoties die de revue passeerden， de bespiegelingen die de auteur maakt en de rotsvaste overtuiging dat iedereen overal het recht heeft zijn plaats te vinden die het boek uitstraalt， dat zal die vijfde sterk wel waard zijn。Tamsin Calidas vertelt hoe ze 15 jaar geleden haar goede leventje in Londen opgaf om met haar echtgenoot een schapenboerderij op een klein Schots eiland （om en bij de 150 bewoners） te verbouwen en uit te baten。 De 15 jaar die volgen zijn alles behalve een droom。 Ze zijn bikkelhard en Calidas beschrijft ze tot in het pijnlijkste detail: een huwelijk dat stukloopt， een kinderwens die onhaalbaar blijkt， financiële problemen en eenzaamheid。 Veel eenzaamheid。 Dat alles tegen de achtergrond van een gesloten gemeenschap die moeizaam met nieuwkomers om lijkt te gaan。 Wanneer je als lezer denkt alles gehad te hebben， blijkt er nog tegenslag om de hoek te leunen。 Alle bovenstaande zouden me nooit kunnen overtuigen om dat boek te lezen。 Ook nu vind ik het nog merkwaardig dat ik hier doorheen vloog。 Maar waar Calidas haar verhaal mee in balans brengt， is de omgeving waarin ze zo graag wil verblijven。 De natuur die het ritme op zo'n eiland bepaald en waartegen elk verzet zinloos is。 De natuur die haar voedt: letterlijk wanneer ze geen frank meer heeft om uit te geven en figuurlijk wanneer ze door weer en wind， plant en dier te observeren lessen voor zichzelf trekt。 Dikwijls heb ik tijdens het lezen gedacht: was dit maar uitgesproken fictie。 Dan kon ik zeggen dat het een mooi boek was maar dat de auteur soms wat overdreef。 Nu blijf je met die moker in je maag。 Nu sta ik erbij en kijk er naar。 Ik zal nog wel even moeten kauwen: wanneer ben je te koppig en wanneer geef je te snel op。 Wanneer stel je je aan of wanneer moet leed gedeeld worden。 Vragen genoeg。Ben benieuwd hoe en hoelang dit blijft nazinderen。 PS: ter info: ik las de drukproef van de Nederlandstalige editie die binnenkort bij uitgeverij Pluim verschijnt。 。。。more

Olivia ，

3。5 stars？？？ Not sure I can say I enjoyed this。 It's absolutely relentlessly brutal and possibly the loneliest narrative I've ever read。 It's the only book where the clichéd phrase "story of resilience" seem to ring true but HOLY HELL。 Stunning nature writing and really eye opening and I was very much rooting for her but， again， h。 o。 l。 y。 h。 e。 l。 l。 You need to get the f off that island。 3。5 stars？？？ Not sure I can say I enjoyed this。 It's absolutely relentlessly brutal and possibly the loneliest narrative I've ever read。 It's the only book where the clichéd phrase "story of resilience" seem to ring true but HOLY HELL。 Stunning nature writing and really eye opening and I was very much rooting for her but， again， h。 o。 l。 y。 h。 e。 l。 l。 You need to get the f off that island。 。。。more

David Hodges ，

Good thought-provoking book， beautifully written。 But an excellent story of a lone woman's struggle with crofting on a Hebridean Island， 'battling' hostile islanders， cruel elements， bad injuries and abandonment by her husband。 The descriptions of the island and the changing seasons are superb， if a little repetitive at times。 Although a bit too philosophical for me in places， the book certainly portrays in depth the feelings of this courageous， talented woman and when you read the book， it is a Good thought-provoking book， beautifully written。 But an excellent story of a lone woman's struggle with crofting on a Hebridean Island， 'battling' hostile islanders， cruel elements， bad injuries and abandonment by her husband。 The descriptions of the island and the changing seasons are superb， if a little repetitive at times。 Although a bit too philosophical for me in places， the book certainly portrays in depth the feelings of this courageous， talented woman and when you read the book， it is as if you are there with her。 Excellent read and highly recommended。David Hodges 。。。more

Lizzie Culverhouse ，

Raw， powerful， emotional and honest。 I loved it。

Meg ，

2 1/2 stars。

patsy_thebooklover ，

Uwielbiam Tamsin Calidas。 Naprawdę， jest coś w tej kobiecie， co od samego początku mnie do niej przyciągało。 Pewna otwartość， łatwość mówienia o swoich lękach i trudach połączona z ciężarem przeżywania pewnych emocji。 Tamsin Calidas w wieku 20-paru lat przeprowadziła się z mężem na jedną z wysp u wybrzeży Szkocji po tym， jak czuła się już przytłoczona życiem w Londynie。 Mimo że oboje nie mieli żadnego doświadczenia w prowadzeniu gospodarstwa i nie wiedzieli z czym w zasadzie wiąże się życie na m Uwielbiam Tamsin Calidas。 Naprawdę， jest coś w tej kobiecie， co od samego początku mnie do niej przyciągało。 Pewna otwartość， łatwość mówienia o swoich lękach i trudach połączona z ciężarem przeżywania pewnych emocji。 Tamsin Calidas w wieku 20-paru lat przeprowadziła się z mężem na jedną z wysp u wybrzeży Szkocji po tym， jak czuła się już przytłoczona życiem w Londynie。 Mimo że oboje nie mieli żadnego doświadczenia w prowadzeniu gospodarstwa i nie wiedzieli z czym w zasadzie wiąże się życie na małej wyspie， poczuli się tam jak w domu。 Tamsin jednak zupełnie nie spodziewała się tego， co ta mała wysepka jej przyniesie - a przyniosła i zabrała wiele。Doświadczenie życiowe Calidas być może nie wyróżnia się znacząco na tle doświadczenia innych kobiet （pomijając fakt samodzielnego mieszkania na małej szkockiej wyspie i wszystkich czynności， jakie się z tym wiążą） - ale przez to， że zdecydowała się wrzucić siebie na tę małą wyspę i otoczyć swoją historię jej brzegami - przez to w jakiś sposób wytężyła wzrok czytelnika_czki i skoncentrowała jego/jej uwagę na życiu kobiety z całym jego ciężarem。 Życiu， w którym pojawia się zdrada， w którym pojawiają się problemy z zajściem w ciążę， pragnienie bycia matką， w którym pojawia się strata i żałoba， w którym pojawiają się problemy z akceptacją przez otoczenie， problemy związane z przemocą， umniejszaniem ich działalności。Tamsin Calidas to kobieta， która przeszła wiele， której los nie oszczędzał。 Mimo że włożyła mnóstwo serca i zaangażowania w nową rzeczywistość to spotykała się z wykluczeniem na wielu poziomach。 Jednocześnie jest to kobieta o niezłomnej sile - sile przeżywania， sile przechodzenia przez trudne momenty w życiu， radzenia sobie w rolach przypisanych w swoim otoczeniu mężczyznom。 To zdarzenia， które towarzyszą wielu kobietom， a Calidas dzięki swoim umiejętnościom pisarskim， talentowi opowiadania， posługiwania się pięknym językiem， pełnym bliskich mi refleksji， zbierania doświadczenia wielu kobiet i przelewania go na papier na swoim przykładzie - stała się ważnym， czułym， kobiecym， reprezentatywnym głosem。Jeśli lubicie wyspiarski klimat i opowieści kobiet - to polecam Wam tę książkę całym sercem。 Dla mnie 5/5。 。。。more

Amory ，

First read this on its release， now reading for a second time a year on I am realising it is even better than I remembered。 So tempting to read in one sitting again。。。so far I am resisting。

Gedankenlabor ，

>>Manchmal kann sich das Leben beengt anfühlen， als trüge man einen Pullover， der im Laufe der Zeit zu klein geworden ist，。。。<<„Vor mir nichts als Meer – Meine langsame Rückkehr vom Rande des Abgrunds“ von Tamsin Calidas ist eine Lebensreise und Selbstfindung， die für mich mit einem sehr fesselnden Einstieg begann。 Die Autorin hat eine wirklich schöne Art zu schreiben und zu beschreiben， was mir insgesamt sehr gefallen hat！ Auch die Bilder und Gefühle， die sie durch das geschriebene Wort hier en >>Manchmal kann sich das Leben beengt anfühlen， als trüge man einen Pullover， der im Laufe der Zeit zu klein geworden ist，。。。<<„Vor mir nichts als Meer – Meine langsame Rückkehr vom Rande des Abgrunds“ von Tamsin Calidas ist eine Lebensreise und Selbstfindung， die für mich mit einem sehr fesselnden Einstieg begann。 Die Autorin hat eine wirklich schöne Art zu schreiben und zu beschreiben， was mir insgesamt sehr gefallen hat！ Auch die Bilder und Gefühle， die sie durch das geschriebene Wort hier entstehen lässt， ist so manches mal wirklich eindrucksvoll und berührend。 Leider gab es für mich hier auch ein paar Längen und Interaktionen， bei denen ich mir mein Augenrollen nicht verkneifen konnte。。。 Auch thematisch konnte ich im weiteren Verlauf bzw。 eine Zeitspanne lang nicht interessiert am Ball bleiben， aber das ist einfach eine Sache des persönlichen Interesses （an dieser Stelle möchte ich einfach nicht spoilern， daher halte ich mich hier eher bedeckt）。 Fazit: Wer gerne Lebensberichte， gerne über die Selbstfindung liest und das raue Meer mag， der wird mit diesem Buch sicher schöne Lesestunden verbringen können。 Mir hat das Buch alles in allem gut gefallen。 。。。more

Harriet ，

I absolutely devoured this book， not only is this a memoir of a huge life changing move from London to a remote Scottish island to become crofters， with all the hardships and trials that would involve， but also dealing with misogyny， infertility， infidelity， race， poverty， grief， loss， nature， loneliness， friendship and a marriage breakdown。 A touching and beautifully discriptive book 🌲

Joan B ，

Wow amazing book; like reading poetry。 Fantastic writing， totally loved it all ！

Sarah Martin ，

An incredible read。 Gripping， raw and a real eye opener to life in the hebredes。

Andy Weston ，

This was a really enoyable and completely compelling read that I can only add to the many accolades it has received。 Regardless of its very feminine perspective， as a man living alone （with a dog of course） in a quiet rural spot much affected by wild weather， I can relate to a lot of Calidas's story， especially the life-changing effect of the nature and environment。 I am practising to be like the earth。 If I am cold， I light a fire。 If I am hurt， I breathe and allow tears to flow。 If I am fearfu This was a really enoyable and completely compelling read that I can only add to the many accolades it has received。 Regardless of its very feminine perspective， as a man living alone （with a dog of course） in a quiet rural spot much affected by wild weather， I can relate to a lot of Calidas's story， especially the life-changing effect of the nature and environment。 I am practising to be like the earth。 If I am cold， I light a fire。 If I am hurt， I breathe and allow tears to flow。 If I am fearful， I step closer to the source of fear。 If I am alone， I go outside into the wilds for their solace and company。 So， five stars， no question， but its the sort of book that needs to be discussed。 After so much conflict and pain， has Calidas lost confidence in relationships and people？ Was she always going to be happier alone？ Her withdrawal from society seems intentional， and gradually becomes more and more marked。 And once content in her solitude， she seems more happy to welcome the odd person back into her life， but in small amounts， and on her own terms。 Society tells us people aren't supposed to live alone with hardly any contact with family， and few if any， friends。 If we are indeed 'an Island'， there's a great deal of determination and stubborness as we strive for acceptance; in Calidas's case， much trauma and hurt as well。 Paired with her wilderness life， is the incredible backdrop of the changing of the season， and its affects on nature on the Hebridean island。 。。。more

Amelia ，

3。5

Julia ，

An absolutely beautiful， raw， visceral tale about violence， loneliness， betrayal， nature， love and wilderness。 I loved reading this book， the way it drew me in and kept me close through the difficult spots of the story。 I have heard that the islanders mentioned in this book were displeased with the descriptions of themselves - although all are anonymous and definitively vague。 I can see why - no one enjoys seeing an ugly reflection in the mirror。 This is the story of someone coming apart， and th An absolutely beautiful， raw， visceral tale about violence， loneliness， betrayal， nature， love and wilderness。 I loved reading this book， the way it drew me in and kept me close through the difficult spots of the story。 I have heard that the islanders mentioned in this book were displeased with the descriptions of themselves - although all are anonymous and definitively vague。 I can see why - no one enjoys seeing an ugly reflection in the mirror。 This is the story of someone coming apart， and then coming back together， healing and building themselves back up from the brink。 This is told in such beautiful prose。 I kept going back to certain passages and re-reading them， taking comfort in the words。 A lovely book。 。。。more

Ja Lhorn ，

Amazing story following the authors unravelling life and how she deals with all manner of challenges and unpleasantness whilst trying to make it alone as a crofter。 At times seemingly dotty， at others a glutton for punishment， but throughout showing huge resilience and determination， Calidas eventually finds all she needs and shows us the rewards to be had from the mindful immersion in nature and rudimentary rhythms。

Laura Macmillan ，

I was really looking forward to reading this and as much as I wanted to love it， reading this at times felt like wading through treacle。 There’s a few points to make about that though:1。 I started a course for work around trauma halfway through the book， bad timing。2。 I worked out quite easily the island the book is based on and my extended family are from near there and the wider Oban area。The book is generally well written， at times the prose is beautiful。 However， at others it feels overwritt I was really looking forward to reading this and as much as I wanted to love it， reading this at times felt like wading through treacle。 There’s a few points to make about that though:1。 I started a course for work around trauma halfway through the book， bad timing。2。 I worked out quite easily the island the book is based on and my extended family are from near there and the wider Oban area。The book is generally well written， at times the prose is beautiful。 However， at others it feels overwritten and I found myself have to back track to see if we were still describing the same view。 The more Tamsin details her traumatic experiences with life on the island， not her physical or domestic issues， the more I wanted her to reflect on these and show empathy towards the local community。 This didn’t happen though and as much as I don’t want to say this， it felt like a a stereotypical tale of middle class London creatives moving to ‘find themselves’ and it all going a bit wrong。 There seems to have been little research or knowledge of the area before the move and why the island communities can be so insular。 This doesn’t excuse the behaviour described by any means but these are communities， not men， full communities， which still held on to the clan system ideal， and were impacted by the English through highland clearances。 This doesn’t seem to enter the story though and islanders just appear as sexist， racist and stubborn。Disappointed 。。。more

Christine Parkinson ，

I chose this book due to the ratings and what I thought would be an exciting story of how someone swapped a life in London to a new life on a Scottish island。 How wrong I was！ This is the most depressing book I have ever read。 Everything goes wrong and the welcome she receives is down-right rude but reading on， surely not everyone in the island， bar one who she befriended can be so nasty？ If I was so unhappy I would have moved heaven and earth to move away。 I found the descriptions self indulgen I chose this book due to the ratings and what I thought would be an exciting story of how someone swapped a life in London to a new life on a Scottish island。 How wrong I was！ This is the most depressing book I have ever read。 Everything goes wrong and the welcome she receives is down-right rude but reading on， surely not everyone in the island， bar one who she befriended can be so nasty？ If I was so unhappy I would have moved heaven and earth to move away。 I found the descriptions self indulgent and when she started referring to inanimate objects as if they were her friends it was just too much。 I listened on audio; the author narrating and also found her voice dull。 Sorry really not my thing。 Disappointing。 。。。more

Karen Whitmore ，

Some truly beautiful descriptions of nature but a very harrowing story。 The new age idealogy got tiresome to read， and getting up in the middle of the night to run about with deer/subsisting on birch bark etc。。。 Why？ Just seems unnecessary at times。

Claire Yesruf ，

Amazing book。 Don't expect it to cheer you up at all though。 Amazing book。 Don't expect it to cheer you up at all though。 。。。more

Scott Smith ，

I found this book hard to read at times but a beautiful understanding of the human condition， our connection to nature and its seasons compelled me to continue。 Dark and often hallowing reflections （alongside some self-victimisation）， overall an enjoyable and poetic read。

Tracy A。 ，

I really wanted to love this book but found myself just thinking it was ok。 It's a shame; it had a ton of promise。 I really wanted to love this book but found myself just thinking it was ok。 It's a shame; it had a ton of promise。 。。。more

Reference

google book https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=I Am An Island

hathitrust digital library https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/ls?q1=I Am An Island&field1=ocr&a=srchls&ft=ft&lmt=ft

The British Library https://bll01.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/discovery/search?query=any,contains,I Am An Island&tab=LibraryCatalog&search_scope=Not_BL_Suppress&vid=44BL_INST:BLL01&lang=en&offset=0